So this week was suppose to go very differently… The 1st week of December & I had all these plans lined up to do Christmassy (yes that’s a word 😉 stuff & play date catch ups with friends etc but life throws you curve balls every now & again or in this case Gallstones.
If you’ve never experienced the pain of a gallbladder attack consider yourself lucky. It is like no other… Honestly childbirth would be preferable & at least at the end you get something wonderful to show for it, but a gallbladder attack quite literally feels like you are dying or at least whilst going through one you feel like you want to, anything to make the pain STOP! It hurts to sit, it hurts to stand, laying down doesn’t help much, you feel like you can’t breath, your chest is being crushed, the pain in your back is unbearable & then there’s the nausea & vomiting & constantly feeling the need to go to the toilet. Yep, sorry, it’s not a pretty picture, but it’s what I was going through Sunday night & after a few hours of writhing around like some demonic zombie I finally agreed to waking the kids up so hubby could take me to hospital, because this wasn’t my first attack, but it was unlike any other attack I’d experienced & I just felt something wasn’t right.
When we got to emergency I don’t think the nurse could believe I hadn’t taken anything for the pain, but we had nothing at home & usually I’d just ride out the 6hr wave til it subsided & then crash into a heap & finally fall asleep, but this was already 5.5hrs in & there was no sign of it subsiding so I was happy for them to give me the good stuff.
Although even after 2 doses of morphin & many more hours passed, the pain, although much less than it was before, was still not completely gone. I had a chest X-ray, a ECG & then depending on results of an ultrasound later in the day I would either be having surgery then & there to remove the infected, inflamed troublesome organ or they’d make an appointment for it to happen within the next few weeks.
I got the ultrasound around midday where it was confirmed I had 1 very large stone that was causing my problem & my gallbladder was inflamed. By 2pm I was being prepped & ready for the op.
It hit me then that this was real & I was actually going to be put under (I’ve never had any operations where I’ve been put to sleep before & so then of course I started thinking what if I don’t wake up? Yes I’m a bit melodramatic but what if?) for some reason I thought I’d be awake for this keyhole operation so once I found out I wasn’t going to be, besides being nervous & scared, I had ridiculous thoughts of, what about the Christmas presents I have stashed all over the house? Hubby won’t know what is for who or where everything is. He’s not technically minded either & I thought of all the photos I have of me & the boys trapped inside my phone, on Instagram & Facebook & how he wouldn’t know how to access any of them to show the boys if the worst should happen. I also realized I didn’t even get to see or say a proper goodbye to them when I got whisked off to the emergency ward the night before & what if that was the last time I saw them?
Sure it was a simple procedure & the stats were in my favor, but you just never know & that’s when I got a bit teary & asked my angel baby Ryan to look out for me, to make sure I’d be ok, that I’d wake up & be able to go home to his brothers & be there for them as they grow up.
I don’t even remember being knocked out (there was no counting back from ten) & the next thing I knew I was jolted awake & a nurse was asking me if I knew my name & date of birth & telling me that the op went well. It had all happened so fast & I couldn’t believe it was over. You have to agree how awesome our healthcare system is that you can rock up to emergency at a public hospital at 2am, be admitted & operated on all by 5pm that same day & have it not cost you a cent (we really do live in a lucky country & I feel grateful as we don’t have private health insurance)
After an overnight stay, I got to go home around lunchtime the following day, although it was so stinking hot I actually wouldn’t have minded staying in the air conditioned ward for a few more hours, terrible hospital food & all 😉 I was instructed NO driving for a week & NO heavy lifting for four… I’m a mum so that’s not exactly feasible, but I’m lucky I have such great family support to help me out. It was also stressed NO vacuuming, but I told the nurse that wasn’t a problem as hubby does most of that suff anyway… Yes I am lucky to have such a good house husband 🙂
So a few days later, I’m here resting at home, I’m sore & stiff, I’m tired & feeling a bit off, have 4 incisions in me & am missing a body part, but I feel extremely lucky & grateful. Knowing I’m not going to have to feel that pain ever again is a wonderful thing & there’s nothing like facing your own mortality to make you realise just how much you have to live for & to be thankful for (or to ensure you leave detailed notes & instructions on where all the hiding places are around the house & what we bought everyone for gifts this year 😉
LOZZIE X
Have you ever suffered a gallbladder attack? Have you ever had an operation? Do you have crazy thoughts go through your mind at times?
I wanna know it all, so leave a comment here on the blog, over on Facebook or Instagram
Messy Rainbows 