3 Today

You’re Three today, “hip hip hooray”, you’re three today. 

But there’ll be no party, no presents, no cake, because you’re not here to celebrate.

I often find myself wondering who you would be, our little boy, now Mr Three. 

Would your favorite things be trains, or cars or trucks? Or puppies & ponies or even ducks?

Would you be loud & messy like your brothers or would you be very different & like no others?

When we see the white butterfly you often send our way, we’ll know you’re with us as we commemorate this day.

For our second son who was born in June, you came too early & left way too soon.

We’ll light your candle & release a balloon & send Birthday wishes to our boy on the moon. 

For a part of our family you’ll always be, from now until eternity.

Because our love for you is off the charts, Ryan James- your name & face, forever engraved upon our hearts.

Happy 3rd Birthday baby boy 🎈

xx

Move More March

  

Following on from my Fit & Fab Feb, I’ve decided to focus on moving more in March! 

Of course I’ll still be focusing on those goals I set myself in February like limiting processed foods & drinking more water/herbal teas, cutting out soft drinks etc, but I’ll also be making more of an effort to get off my butt more often. 

Whilst I was pretty good & stuck to my goals for most of the month, I did kind of come unstuck a little towards the end of Feb & this first week of March has been a bit of a write off.

I’ve had a sick & teething bub on my hands & I’m an emotional eater so being stressed out & tired has seen me reach for the not so great food choices a bit more & feeling like I want to eat my body weight in chocolate & icecream! Oops!

However that’s life right, so just gotta dust myself off & get back on the horse or wagon or any other metaphor that sees me moving forward!

I had a birthday last week too which saw me over indulge a little too much also, but as I’m now closer to 40 than 30 & they say it gets harder to lose weight as you get older (I find it’s always hard!) I’ve decided this is the year to focus on me & become the best version of myself I can be. I still have a few years up my sleeve before I hit the big 4-O but when I get there I want to be 40-“fit & foxy” not 40-“fat & frumpy.”

So Ive pulled out my Fitbit to help motivate me & see just how much I move or don’t each day. 2 days a week I walk my son to preschool which is about 20 mins each way. I do this to drop him off & pick him up (unless it’s raining or ridiculously hot, I’m not crazy!) on these days I absolutely kill getting in my 10000 steps a day, usually more. So those days are easy & I’ve even noticed my fitness increasing just by doing this.

I have also been trying to get out 1 or 2 more times during the week for a walk on my own or pushing Pumpkin in the pram but have only been doing about 30-35mins. So for the remainder of March I want to increase this to 3 times a week & aim for a minimum of 45 mins building up to 1 hr. 

It’s these small but achievable changes combined with last months goals that I’m hoping bring big, long term results. 

                              LOZZIE X

How often do you exercise per week? What’s your favorite activity to do that sees you moving more? If you have kids how do you find the time to incorporate exercise into your day? 

Tell me all your tips & tricks here or over on Facebook or Instagram I’d love to hear from you  

Fit & Fab Feb

I’ve been overweight pretty much my whole life. I love sweets, I love savory. I love food! 

I don’t love exercise & don’t really do any (unless you count chasing kids around & walking to the mailbox & back) I don’t & hence this is why we are where we are now. 

I’ve tried many different diets over the years, weight watchers, body trim, lite n easy & celebrity slim, just to name a few and whilst they’ve all resulted in weight loss, as soon as I start to eat normally again the weight slowly but surely creeps back on. 

I’m not the heaviest I’ve ever been but I need & want to lose weight obviously, but I also want to improve my overall health & fitness. I have TWO very good reasons for wanting to stick around here for awhile. I want to be able to participate in their lives more & be a good role model for them as they’re getting older. 

But I’m tired of the yo-yo dieting, of counting calories & forking out ridiculous amounts of money for the next latest & greatest quick fix. So I’ve declared this month to be “Fit & Fab Feb”

  

I know if I’m going to do this properly it needs to be lifestyle change & I need to go slowly. I’m hoping by making little changes throughout the month they’ll be easier to achieve & maintain. Of course when the month is over these goals won’t stop, I’ll have hopefully set myself up in creating healthy habits that I can continue & then slowly start to introduce a few more. 

So this month my focus is on 

*starting the day with warm lemon water

*drinking more water throughout the day

*moving more- aim to exercise at least 3 times a week 

*cut down/cut out processed foods where possible & eat more fresh & healthier food choices 

*no soft drinks for the month

*try to reduce amount of sugar in my tea or drink more herbal blends that don’t require it

That said, I’m also going to allow myself to slip & not beat myself up when I do. I’m only human so if I don’t make the best choices every now & again that’s ok… it’s a lifestyle, I still have to live. I still want to enjoy the odd treat or meal when out with friends or on special occasions & not worry about it. But it’s about balance & being aware & making better choices more often. If I’m craving chocolate, I might have 2 squares of quality dark chocolate instead of scoffing the whole block. When I want a snack, instead of reaching for a sugary, salty packaged treat, I’ll aim for fresh fruit, nuts or something homemade if I really REALLY want it. 

So 10 days into the month & so far, so good. I’m going well. I’ve enjoyed a night out with friends where I indulged in pizza & wine-guilt free. I’ve been walking my son to & from preschool & getting out for the odd walk when I can. No soft drink has passed these lips & I’m eating more fruit & veg. I also lost just over 1/2 a kilo in this first week so I’m on my way to feeling & being “Fit & Fab” 

Anyone want to join me in making some little changes this month that can help you feel the same? 

I’m ready. Bring on the rest of Feb…. 

                            Lozzie x 

Do you do diets? Are you on one now? What are your tips or tricks for helping you lose a few kilos? What’s one thing you can focus on this month to help you feel healthier? 

I want to know it all, so leave a comment here, come say hi on Facebook or Instagram or all 3! I’d love to hear from you. 

Cutting the apron stringsΒ 

It’s been a big week for us around here as our eldest baby Peanut started preschool. 

  

I’ve been quite emotional about it these past few weeks leading up to this day, shedding a few tears at just the thought of my little boy out in the big wide world all on his own. I’ll admit I even cried whilst watching a certain Abc4kids show about a little bear starting school for the very first time. Damn that Justine Clarke & her emotion stirring melodies! 

It’s not that I’ve never been away from him for any period of time before. I have, many times. He regularly spends nights at both of my parents places (which he & I love) & I went back to work part time when he was a yr & a half old but my mum looked after him on those days at our home (thank goodness for hands on, involved grandparents-I do know how lucky I am!) 

Its just a very different thing leaving your child in the care of family members, who they know well & have one on one time with as opposed to with people you & they don’t know along with a whole bunch of other kids you don’t know in a foreign enviroment. It’s a big step for this mumma & all parents sending their precious babies off to daycare, preschool or school for the very first time. It’s hard!

At 4.5 yrs old most of you are prob thinking well it’s about bloody time!! And yes as he’ll be going to “big” school next year we thought it WAS about time to get him used to a routine, to start making some friends in our new area & to assist in his personal development on the whole.

So Wednesday was D day & besides the usual 29 requests to hurry up & get shoes on & go brush his teeth etc he surprised me with being pretty good & actually being ready on time. I made sure I was well prepared for the day with my waterproof mascara on & sunnies ready to go!

We walked to preschool, chatting about all the fun he was going to have & what kinds of things he might do throughout the day. As we got closer I felt my heart starting to race & had to fight back the tears, but I couldn’t cry yet & definitely not in front of him. 

As we walked into his room one of the carers came & said hello & took him straight off to play with some playdoh and another little girl already there. He went along happily without even a glance back which made me both happy & also a little sad. I went & sorted out the last of the paperwork in the office & the director asked if I was going to go back in. I said yes of course, I wanted to say a proper goodbye & make sure he was ok for me to leave & ensure him I’d be coming back. 

He was playing with some Lego & I sat & played for a few minutes before saying its time for me & your brother to go now, but we’ll come back in a little while to pick you up. He looked a little sad & was very quiet but gave me a big hug goodbye (which is a very rare occurrence these days) & that alone was enough to start the tears welling up, so I quickly gave him a big squeeze back & told him to be good, have lots of fun & I’d see him in the afternoon. As I backed away trying hard to not let those tears fall, I glanced back at him & in that moment, through watery eyes he looked so small. I managed to get out of the gate before a couple tears fell down my cheek, but upon remembering I had to walk back home, along the street, you know, where actual people could & would see me, I managed to contain it to just a few tears & not do the whole big ugly cry, I’d save that for at home. 

I treated myself to a chai latte at the local cafe to mark the occasion- I would have liked something a little stronger but figured at 9am that would probably be frowned upon!

Once home, the house was quiet, albeit briefly as I still had Pumpkin to keep me company & as I sat & finished my chai I thought of my little boy & hoped he was having fun, was making friends & wasn’t scared. I rang them at lunchtime just to get an update, being that it was the first time ever he’d been in an environment like that without me, although I think it was more to put my own mind at ease & apart from being told he’d had sand thrown in his eye, (accidentally cause you know, kids!) that he was having a great time & settling in well. I could relax & breathe a little easier after that.

Hubby & I both went & picked him up a little earlier than finishing time & we found him happily playing in the sandpit with lots of other kids. He said he’d had a good day, the teachers gave me a good run down of what they did & how he’d been. 

Walking home he told us all about a story they’d read, but then proclaimed in typical toddler boy fashion that everything else was “stupid”. He looked very wiped out & I said to him after having such a big day we’d have an early dinner & early night so we could have a good rest & then get up & be ready to do it all again tomorrow (That would be the real test, if he was happy to go back again the next day) He just looked at us & said “oh I hope it’s school holidays soon cause I’m exhausted & need a break” this, after his very 1st day!!! Hubby & I just laughed. 

                              LOZZIE X

Did you send a little one off to school or care for the very first time this year? How did they go? Did you need ALL the tissues or ugly cry in front of anyone? Do you have any stories or memories from your first time at school when you were younger? 

I want to hear it all, comment here or over on Facebook or Instagram 

One Little Word {2016}

  

I know I’m a little late to the party on this one but to be honest I’ve been struggling to get into the groove & find the time to blog so far this year. Yes I know we’re only just over a week into it, but I already feel like I’ve lost that spark & motivation that usually comes with the start of a new year & I’ve chosen sleep or shock horror- housework (who am I??) over spending the time to sit & write.

I’ve made New Years resolutions in the past, usually along the lines of eat better, exercise more, lose weight, get fit & healthy, etc,etc but a few weeks or months in & I’m back to the same old habits & routines,thus failing my resolutions, give up & then vow the same ones again the following year. 

So this year I’m not making any & in regards to health & fitness I figure it shouldn’t be something that is just a focus for a little while anyway, it should be part of my daily lifestyle, to make better food choices & move more in general, but that is a whole other blog post of its own for another time. 

So, no resolutions this year. I’ve set myself a few personal challenges or goals, all of which seem to be photography related, like finally completing a full year of  Fatmumslims photo a day, but I liked the idea of #onelittleword to focus on for 2016. However I struggled with writing this post due to actually having to pick “A” word, (it’s the indecisive Pisces in me). Health, organized & positive were among some of the top contenders, but the one word that kept coming to mind & standing out for me was CALM. After feeling stressed out, exhausted & like I’d spent most of last year yelling (because I did) I thought YES, this year I’m going to do things differently. I am going to be CALM.

I want to have a calm mind, I’m anxious a lot & a bit neurotic at times, especially with my boys so I really want to work on that. I want to surround myself with calming influences-in my home, the places I go & the people I spend time with. For me this means being more organized & having less clutter around. Taking time out for myself every day, to sit & relax & breathe, even if it’s just 5 minutes to enjoy a cuppa or watch the sunset. To be more in the moment & not in my head so much. To spend more time outdoors, in nature & by the water. But above all, to be a better parent & partner, one that doesn’t yell as often, lose my temper or blow a fuse so quickly at the boys. 

However within the first two days of the new year I’d already stuffed up & yelled & screamed & cried & lost my patience on more than one occasion, with my boys, my hubby & my mum. So well… shit! What now? I’ve already blown it, I guess I should just change my word because obviously this isn’t going to work & I’ve  failed. 

What hope do I have implementing this for a whole year if I can’t even do it for a few days! But that’s when I realized that’s EXACTLY WHY I should have it as my one little word. It not something that has to happen in the first week, or even the 1st month, it’s something I will focus & work on over the whole year. That word is my reminder to change my reactions, to try & make better choices when I’m flailing in the midst of overwhelm, anxiety & stress. Be CALM.

Of course I’m not perfect & I’m not going to be all zen & hippy like all year long, I’m only human AND I’m a mum… so I will lose my cool from time to time, it’s inevitable. However, when that does happen I need to remember my one little word & try to get back to a calm state as quickly as possible, & hopefully learn from those times I’m not so calm & try & put it in practice the next time my first reaction is to raise my voice or get myself all worked up. 

I think I’ve definitely set myself a tough challenge with this one this year but I’m hopeful that by the start of 2017 I’ll have seen a change in myself & in turn, those around me. 

                                 LOZZIE X 

Do you set yourself challenges/goals or make New Years resolutions? Have you got one word to focus on for the year ahead? If you do any of  these things I’d love to hear about them & how they’re going so far? Leave a comment here on the blog, or come chat with me on Facebook or Instagram 

Fan Girl Friday #4

Hello Bright Ones, 

Hope you’re all well & have a had a wonderful week. What are you getting up to this weekend? Any exciting plans? A spot of Christmas shopping perhaps? 

If you read my last post, Gratitude & Gallstones you’ll see my week didn’t quite go according to plan & I’ve been resting up at home all week after my impromptu surgery but I’m hoping to get out on Sunday to the local Christmas markets & buy a few last minute gifts. 

If you also read my Flavor of the Month post earlier this week you’ll know I was highlighting all things Christmas & on Tuesday this week we had our very own Elf on the Shelf “Tinkerbell” as named by Mr 4,  come & join our family for the holiday season, so I thought for this fan girl Friday I’d keep it simple & highlight the Instagram hashtag 

#ELFONTHESHELF 

  Just some of the fun antics the elves can get up too.  

     Some of the MANY photos shared to the # on Instagram

So What is Elf on the Shelf?

It’s a family tradition where an elf sent by Santa comes to live with you & reports back to him your behavior during the lead up to Christmas. Your child must name your elf & then they can get to work. The elf is magic & will fly back to the North Pole each night while you sleep & take up a new hiding place or activity each day for you to discover when you wake. This is where the fun comes in & you are only limited by your imagination. The elf doll comes with a book that explains it all very well in a cute little rhyming story. On Christmas Eve they go back with Santa to live at the North Pole until they return to your home again the next year. 

 The hashtag is great to follow to get ideas & inspiration if you’re playing along at home with your own elf or it’s just fun to watch & see what elf antics others are getting up to & get into the holiday spirit.

 I know “Elf” can divide people as some see the doll itself as creepy & that you shouldn’t need a toy to help solve behavioral issues, blah blah blah….  But I’m totally on team FUN! It’s about creating memories & preserving that childhood magic & I’m not gunna lie, if a little toy elf makes the next 3 weeks of life here a little more peaceful then I don’t see that as a bad thing at all. You gotta do what you gotta do and besides who’s to say your Elf can’t help impart the messages you want to teach your children, like a little note telling them to be kind, to share a toy with a friend, bake cookies for a neighbor or reminding them to brush their teeth. 

Seeing the photos of all the other elves & their adventures brings a smile to my face & I’m loving watching Peanut search for Tinkerbell each morning to find out what she’s been up to. I’m looking forward to carrying on this tradition with my boys for many years to come.

Here’s some photos I shared to the #elfontheshelf hashtag of Tinkerbell’s arrival & the first two days she spent at our home. 

   
   

You can follow her daily adventures with us over on my Instagram account HERE

                     LOZZIE X

Do you have an elf visit your house at Christmas time? What’s the funniest or naughtiest thing your elf has done? If you have an elf, what’s their name? 

Tell me everything, here on the blog or Here or Here 

Gratitude & Gallstones

  
So this week was suppose to go very differently… The 1st week of December & I had all these plans lined up to do Christmassy (yes that’s a word πŸ˜‰ stuff & play date catch ups with friends etc but life throws you curve balls every now & again or in this case Gallstones. 

If you’ve never experienced the pain of a gallbladder attack consider yourself lucky. It is like no other… Honestly childbirth would be preferable & at least at the end you get something wonderful to show for it, but a gallbladder attack quite literally feels like you are dying or at least whilst going through one you feel like you want to, anything to make the pain STOP! It hurts to sit, it hurts to stand, laying down doesn’t help much, you feel like you can’t breath, your chest is being crushed, the pain in your back is unbearable & then there’s the nausea & vomiting & constantly feeling the need to go to the toilet. Yep, sorry, it’s not a pretty picture, but it’s what I was going through Sunday night & after a few hours of writhing around like some demonic zombie I finally agreed to waking the kids up so hubby could take me to hospital, because this wasn’t my first attack, but it was unlike any other attack I’d experienced & I just felt something wasn’t right. 

When we got to emergency I don’t think the nurse could believe I hadn’t taken anything for the pain, but we had nothing at home & usually I’d just ride out the 6hr wave til it subsided & then crash into a heap & finally fall asleep, but this was already 5.5hrs in & there was no sign of it subsiding so I was happy for them to give me the good stuff. 

Although even after 2 doses of morphin & many more hours passed, the pain, although much less than it was before, was still not completely gone. I had a chest X-ray, a ECG & then depending on results of an ultrasound later in the day I would either be having surgery then & there to remove the infected, inflamed troublesome organ or they’d make an appointment for it to happen within the next few weeks. 

I got the ultrasound around midday where it was confirmed I had 1 very large stone that was causing my problem & my gallbladder was inflamed. By 2pm I was being prepped & ready for the op. 

It hit me then that this was real & I was actually going to be put under (I’ve never had any operations where I’ve been put to sleep before & so then of course I started thinking what if I don’t wake up? Yes I’m a bit melodramatic but what if?) for some reason I thought I’d be awake for this keyhole operation so once I found out I wasn’t going to be, besides being nervous & scared, I had ridiculous thoughts of, what about the Christmas presents I have stashed all over the house? Hubby won’t know what is for who or where everything is. He’s not technically minded either & I thought of all the photos I have of me & the boys trapped inside my phone, on Instagram & Facebook & how he wouldn’t know how to access any of them to show the boys if the worst should happen. I also realized I didn’t even get to see or say a proper goodbye to them when I got whisked off to the emergency ward the night before & what if that was the last time I saw them? 

Sure it was a simple procedure & the stats were in my favor, but you just never know & that’s when I got a bit teary & asked my angel baby Ryan to look out for me, to make sure I’d be ok, that I’d wake up & be able to go home to his brothers & be there for them as they grow up. 

I don’t even remember being knocked out (there was no counting back from ten) & the next thing I knew I was jolted awake & a nurse was asking me if I knew my name & date of birth & telling me that the op went well. It had all happened so fast & I couldn’t believe it was over. You have to agree how awesome our healthcare system is that you can rock up to emergency at a public hospital at 2am, be admitted & operated on all by 5pm that same day & have it not cost you a cent (we really do live in a lucky country & I feel grateful as we don’t have private health insurance

After an overnight stay, I got to go home around lunchtime the following day, although it was so stinking hot I actually wouldn’t have minded staying in the air conditioned ward for a few more hours, terrible hospital food & all πŸ˜‰ I was instructed NO driving for a week & NO heavy lifting for four… I’m a mum so that’s not exactly feasible, but I’m lucky I have such great family support to help me out. It was also stressed NO vacuuming, but I told the nurse that wasn’t a problem as hubby does most of that suff anyway… Yes I am lucky to have such a good house husband πŸ™‚ 

So a few days later, I’m here resting at home, I’m sore & stiff, I’m tired & feeling a bit off, have 4 incisions in me & am missing a body part, but I feel extremely lucky & grateful. Knowing I’m not going to have to feel that pain ever again is a wonderful thing & there’s nothing like facing your own mortality to make you realise just how much you have to live for & to be thankful for (or to ensure you leave detailed notes & instructions on where all the hiding places are around the house & what we bought everyone for gifts this year πŸ˜‰

                        LOZZIE X 

Have you ever suffered a gallbladder attack? Have you ever had an operation? Do you have crazy thoughts go through your mind at times? 

I wanna know it all, so leave a comment here on the blog, over on Facebook or Instagram